6.30.2016

A case of the Mondays

Today is the 29th of June. This is a note from Leap Day ... Feb 29. I'm not sure why I never posted it but it jumped out at me today.

Today I spent the day with three of my best friends. It was a day filled with joy and girl talk and shopping and dreaming and lots of laughs. We made Waco our playground. The end of the day found us happy, tired, and filled with sweet memories. Our friend tanks filled.

Yet this post caught my attention.

Three months after I originally wrote this I'm finding my happy in the little things: my boys, the beach, laughing, and surrounding myself with reminders on how to choose happy.


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Monday was rough business. One of those days when I would have rather hid under the blanket and try again later.

I've felt it coming. I haven't taken the time to fill me up again. I have done small things to keep going but Monday it caught up with me. A big old wave of ugly. 

Thankfully my Yada Yada aunt covered me in prayer and my husband knows exactly how to love me through these times ... The gift of space.

 My goal was to get through the day pleasantly. Not to turn the mood around but just to survive the day without the ugly pouring out. 

All of the things that can slow a morning down happened. I told myself "Do not snap at those boys. Use your nice words and watch your tone".  All of the things we are teaching Ethan. It's a lot easier said than done let me tell you. 

But I was determined to not let these feelings become me. I wasn't going to be able to change the feelings but I could at least control my words and actions. Ride this wave with grace. 

On my way to work I listened to a podcast with Jennifer Garner. She was talking with Heather from the God Centered Mom podcast about her new movie Miracles from Heaven. She shared that her mom always says that happiness is a choice. It is not a feeling. You can choose to see the joy in all things ... especially the small things. Don't wait until the big things come to be happy. Choose happy right here and now. In the sandwich you are having for lunch. Or the dinner that you get to cook.

The message had perfect timing. I carried it with me. 

I went about my "gloomy" day with my owned feelings and honest words. When I was asked in the hall how I'm doing I said I'm okay, it's a Monday and tomorrow will be better. I didn't dwell in it I just focused on the goal.

We survived bath time and a very tired Mason was put to bed. I even made myself snap a picture on his first Leap Day. 

mason's 1st leap day


The weather was absolutely gorgeous. Ethan and I decided to watch his show out on our patio. It was nice to sit and breath fresh air next to my happy boy. We loved it so much we did it again tonight. It might be our new tradition.

note the pirate rain boots and ninja gear


After Ethan got to bed I added 20 min to the workout scorecard and called it a day. 

These feelings are not new. They happen. But the handling and accepting method was new. 

Today was a new day and I'm still looking for the small things that say joy. Thank you Lord.


6.25.2016

2016 at the Beach

We took a road trip to Port Aransas and it was .... fun. This fun included 6:30 am wake-ups (thanks Mason), night time drives on the beach, using head lamps to search for crabs & frogs, exploring the island from a golf cart, taking the family to our favorite beach dive, searching for sea shells, running away from waves, eating ice cream before dinner, sno cones for snack and pirate cruise where Ethan became an official pirate!

Mason loved the beach and acclimated well to the new environment. He slept like a champ in the playpen. The only thing I didn't plan on was the sun entering his room and waking him up at 6:30 am!  Not fun when you went to bed closer to 11pm. At least there were naps to help get us through. He got to sit in a big boy booster chair  for meals and to my surprise did pretty good at sitting. He loved the sand and crawled straight to the ocean. Not one ounce of fear.

Ethan was super excited that he and Mason were sharing a room. On our first day he said "Mommy, I'm going to my room to watch TV". He thought that was the neatest thing. Our TV at home is in our living room so it was a special treat for him. There were lots of special treats for Mr Ethan. He got to ride in front seat of the golf cart with Daddy while mommy rode in the back seat with Mason and his car seat. (We were those people spreading our happy with a car seat attached to a golf cart.) Ethan could reach all of the light switches and the faucets and he could buckle and unbuckle his golf cart seat belt. He LOVED vacation!!! Every morning he woke up and asked if it was a school day. He couldn't believe it was a school day and he was at the beach. On Sabbath morning it came full circle for him. He said "wow! We didn't go to school for lots of days! I miss my friends. I bet they missed me."


here we go!

on the ferry waiting to be on island time
my boys


the big blue ocean

ethan looking for sea shells

mason's first time on the beach

those lips!

those eye lashes

my ethan

those cheeks!
silly boy ... i had to move fast to get this shot

brothers
before the pirate cruise

Pirate Ethan

the golf cart of happy

night time ridin'

fueling up on coffee

one tough mama
those eyes


sunbeams

happy boy


6.13.2016

I Found It!

There is this tiny sliver of paradise tucked away at the end of each day called sunset. It is by far my favorite part of the day. When I was on bed rest with Mason and the doctor gave me the okay to leave the house for short trips that involved sitting, Travis would roll me into the car and we would drive until the sun went down. The bumps were hard on the ever sensitive belly but the fresh air and the beautiful colors in the sky made it all worthwhile.

At the end of the day everything is settled. No more hours to do things. Only calm and peace await.

So here is the thing, as much as I love this little tiny gift we are given each day, I don't get to stop and enjoy it very often. The bedtime routines tend to steal all of the end of day minutes. They steal the morning minutes too but that's another story. Right now...in the middle of June... the sun goes down after the bedtime dances are done. So the boys get placed in bed and I try to quietly run into my bedroom to enjoy this ....



I get to sit here in the quiet and watch. Or read. Or write. Or journal. Or learn. Until ...

the Littles happen....

And they scream out for...

One more drink. Or to try and convince me that they cannot possibly spend the night in their bed. Or to ask if I was going to check on them. Or bad dreams.

Sigh, at least I get the chance of a sunset view each day. And I remind myself that they will not always be little or need their mommy at this time of day.

The pretty colors are helping me in my journey to try and find my stillness. I've been doing a lot over the last few months. I haven't really dwelled in being. I've been going constantly with newborn stuff and family transitioning to a family of four stuff and illness stuff and new role at work stuff and it had all just been so busy. But y'all most of those are settled now and we are entering a new season at the Irish house. We have entered the season where everyone eats three meals a day. And it's time. It's time to quiet down and find the margins to be still. Or rather create the margins to be still. It's hard though because I want to fill the margins with all of the fun stuff I haven't gotten to do because of the busy. I want to read all of the books written by my bloggy friends. I want to hear all of the podcasts. I want to do all of the bible study books. I want to scrapbook all of the pictures. I want to learn this photography thing once and for all. I want to pour into my boys ... all three of them. But before all of that I need to let Jesus pour His love into me. But He has to catch me first. Or rather I have to let myself be caught. And that takes me back to being still. This little sliver of paradise is the perfect place to start practicing.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10